Over the past few years I have been in many conversations about this topic concerning the death of chivalry. Many women now a day have lost faith in decent men so it seems as if the have settled. They believe all men to be dogs, cheaters, scum, etc… the lists goes on. On many levels that can be true, but at the same time very untrue. Many arguments I have recently heard about relationships these days are the lack of actual face-to-face interactions, lack of going out on dates, the courtesy of men (how to treat a lady),
To start this off let’s address this issue of lack of face-to-face. To kinda simplify all the arguments I have heard I am going to call this digital interaction. There are women who believe that the digital age has taken far too much priority in relationships. There is too much text talk and not enough real talk. There’s too much skype and not enough face to face. In all honesty I believe this has nothing to do with men, this is a product of the age that we live in. We live in a time where digital technology is taking over, and our means of communication are changing. With that said let me make this clear; nothing can take the place of actually having a conversation in person where you can look into a person’s eyes, read their body language, reach out and touch them. In defense of the digital age, there used to be a time where the only time you would be able to talk to a person was by sending them a letter. That kind of communication would take forever, so I guess what I am saying is…things could be worse but we can’t let digital communication be our only means of communication. I believe there needs to be a little extra effort put into seeking live interaction and not solely digital. While i am at it, don't break up over text. Thats just inconsiderate and wrong. I heard Steve Harvey say, a break up is a situation where you are dealing with a human and their emotions. Then he asked did you meet the person through text? When you made love was it through text? Then your break up shouldn't be through text.
Not too long ago I was talking with a friend of mine and we were discussing why many men aren’t taking girls out on dates anymore, or at least not very often. The easiest answer would be to say that the economy is bad, money is tight, and all that other stuff. All of that may be true, but that is not the reason why we don’t do dates as often as we used to. We don’t do dates like we used to, because WE DON’T HAVE TO! There is a saying “For every mad black women, there is a man that made her that way”. The same thing goes for men. “for every man that you call a Dog, there is a women who made him that way. We as human are operant learners, which mean that when we do a behavior and are rewarded for that behavior, we then continue to do that behavior. If we did something and were punished or not rewarded the behavior would cease to exist. Here is what I am getting at, hypothetically speaking: If I find out that I can get from you what I want by just buying you a couple drinks at the bar, or just telling you to come over and watch a movie in the middle of the night, and I am rewarded. Then it then becomes common sense, why waste money and go out of my way when I can get what I want practically free. If it is that easy why try harder? You see I believe that the fault in this instance lies with the females of our society. If people weren’t giving it up so easily then men would have to work harder. Then you would get your candle lit dinners, your gifts, you would get the attention of the male who is actually concerned about you. This also brings value to you, because when there is time invested there is less of a chance that he will hit it then quit it. I believe when you give it up fast you can set yourself up for failure, because he gets what he wants and moves on. But when there is time invested and a relationship built whenever he does get it he will appreciate it even more, and thus more likely to hang on to it rather than throw it to the side. It’s a matter of self worth. What is your value? You establish that.
Then there’s the issue of courtesy of men towards women, the chivalry if you will. Why don’t men open doors anymore? Why don’t they pull out chairs? Why do men talk to their women any old kind of way? This issue as I believe, is a growing issue caused by a lack of role models in young men’s lives. Father’s play a huge role in this, and when there is no father or father figure to learn from men learn from other sources. Sources like television and movies, music, and or people in the street. When a kid sees someone on tv smacking his lady around, or a kid runs into a building and lets the door slam in his mother’s face, if there is no one to correct him or tell him that this is wrong, then how does the child know that it is wrong. I guess you can apply that to any situation and I believe it will still hold true. This also can be a self value issue also. Do you let your guy talk to you that way, do you demand respect from him? Again, if he is able to get away with it at no cost to him, why change.
Peace,
Koda K.
Peace,
Koda K.
