The Smile Initiative: Power of a Smile

"Change the world one smile at a time" or "Make someone smile today". Lately I have been tagging my posts on Facebook with these lines. It's a mission I have decided to take on. Hopefully by the time you finish reading this you will have a better understanding why I believe so strongly in this concept.

The Power of a Smile

My freshman year in college is when I first realized the power of making people smile. Me and a really good friend of mine would walk around campus and we would say hello and smile at anyone who looked down in anyway. Sometime it would be followed up with a compliment. You tend to see a lot of people on campus looking like life is over during the normal week of classes. At the time it was kind of a joke to us. We would compliment someone and soon as we made it out of earshot, we would try to guess their problem. We would say things like "man, they must have failed a test" or "they just broke up with their boyfriend". The reaction we got from people was amazing. Their whole expression would change, their body language changed. They would smile back and it would seem that for that brief 3 seconds of conversation everything was alright. That person was noticed, it wasn't the end of the world. 

We all hear about the kids who go unnoticed and bullied and then they snap and shoot up someplace. If only someone took the time to just say hi to that person, maybe those situations could have all been avoided. Would it hurt to try? Would it take much effort to tell someone that they look nice? Most of the time you don't even have to break The stride in your walk. How do you know that your words to a stranger can't save a life? 

Think about all the times that you have felt good in your life? Were you smiling? I am almost positive that you were. The best feelings in life always go hand in hand with smiling. So my mission is sort of like "Pay it Forward". Everyday I try and make a stranger smile. Something simple like holding a door open for the person behind you, paying a compliment to a random person in passing, telling a joke to someone, or simply just saying hello. If the opportunity arises were I am able to help someone out and they try to thank me, I just ask that they do the same if the opportunity presents itself to them in the future.

The way that I see it, if everyone in the world is going out of their way to make a stranger smile then we would live in a better world. The "Golden Rule" in just about every religion is "Do unto other, as you would like others to do unto you" or some variation of that phrase. We can change the world one smile at a time. We just all have to do our part. The light of a smile can push out the darkness that has clouded our world and bring about a new day. Have a great day family and make someone smile today.

Peace,
Koda K.

Bitch Bad, Nigga Good?

Bitch and Nigga, two words that if you go back in time and heard these words used you would've gasped in shock at who ever said it. Now a days you can turn on a television or walk down any street in a predominately black neighborhood and hear these words more times than you can count. So when did these words become so widely accepted that you hear it at least once a day and not even think twice about it?

Now apparently these words have different meaning depending on how it is used, and whom it is used for. Examples; A male and a female are having a conversation. The Male get angry at the women and calls her a bitch. Female gets angry and slaps him. This used to be the normal reaction to being called a bitch. Lets take another situation; A song comes on the radio and the females starts singing and calling herself a Bad Bitch, and the song is a male singing about how he wants a Bad Bitch. So now this Female has not only labeled herself a bitch, but also pretty much accepted being called a bitch. The question here is what is the difference? Is it the emotion behind it, out of anger it is disrespectful or regular nonchalant speak it is ok. Is that what makes all the difference in the meaning of a word? The tone or context in which it is used?

The same kind of double standard goes for the word Nigga. For the most part we all know the basic history or the word. It never was meant to be a "term of endearment" or a word used to embrace your friends. The word was used as a way to degrade African-Americans, a way to dehumanize us so they could treat us as bad and not feel guilty. You see they weren't being unfair to other humans they were being unfair to Niggers. It's ok because they are only Niggers. Militaries have done it for years (towel heads, chinks) this way they dehumanize the victims they are about to kill. So in their minds it's not as bad. But I digress, what I am trying to get at is why is ok for two black people to call each other Nigga, but then take offense when someone of a different race uses it? If the word has truly evolved and the meaning has changed, why can't a white person come up to a black person and say "what's up my Nigga?" They didn't mean it in a negative or disrespectful way, they used it just as you would use it toward another black friend. So why take offense? Is it because in your mind you still attach that negative history with the word? If that is the case why is it still not offensive if another black person says it?

Should there be these double standards on words like these? Should they be always bad and degrading or can we accept the change that has come with time. Should we just keep both meanings and use with caution? I am not taking a side at this moment just trying to provoke some thoughts and see what you guys think. Leave a comment and let me know how you feel.

Check out Lupe Fiasco take on the double meanings of Bitch very interesting listen to the lyrics http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3m3t_PxiUI

Peace,

Koda K. 

Late Night Contemplation: Mind Molders

I came across this article today basically reporting that some new rapper has a problem with Lupe. (Back story: Lupe Fiasco is my favorite rapper) So I read the article to find out  why on earth would anyone have a problem with Lupe. To make a long story short, basically this guy didn't appreciate an interview Lupe did where he stated that this guy and others like him are putting out a bad image for themselves and the young minds they are influencing. Kids are listening to his raps and emulating what they see. So he [Lupe] says that these new rappers scare him, but not them specifically, but the culture that they represent.

In these videos they promote just about everything that is wrong with the black communities now; Drug, gangs and violence. This new generation of rappers are promoting and representing these negative images that are poisoning our communities. Veteran rapper and Chicago native Rhymefest said it best when talking about Chief Keef, he said "Chief Keef is a 'Bomb', he represents the senseless savagery that white people see when the news speaks of Chicago violence. A Bomb has no responsibility or blame, it does what it was created to do; DESTROY!" Rhymefest goes on to say that the real culprit isn't the rapper it is the label that is pushing the image. They don't care who or what they destroy in the process they just want their money. Real money and not the scraps they hang in front of their artists faces so they think they are doing something. You see when you have nothing, a little something looks like a whole lot in your eyes. You become satisfied making "dimes" when you should be looking for "dollars." Rhymefest also stated in this article that more then likely these rapper will come and go without us knowing hardly anything about them, and that record labels take out huge insurance policies on artist like this so that they get paid either way.

I don't know what it is, but we have got to find the keys to unlock the chains that have imprisoned our minds and WAKE UP! So that we can see clearly, that this is not the life we deserve. Our vision has become so clouded that we no longer can see that promise land that Dr. King spoke of. We have had distraction placed in front of us to delay our journey to that promise land. Distraction like drugs, money, violence.  No longer do I see people trying to make life better for themselves. Instead I see people either making things worse or going nowhere. As I have learned in my life, if you are not getting better than you are getting worse. 

My heart goes out to my city of Chicago, who is constantly in the news for gun violence every week. We must do better as a whole, nobody is going to try and help you until we try and help ourselves. It starts with the role models and the messages that we put out. The powers that be wouldn't push these negative images if it didn't sell. We allow it therefore giving them market to supply to. Please if you are in the position to mentor young minds, please influence them with a positive message. 

If you have the time check out the full Rhymefest article or the Lupe Interview there is some good stuff in them if this topic is of interest to you. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlmYnWwlt9c

http://donnienicole.com/2012/06/27/chief-keef-is-the-bomb/

Peace,

Koda K.

Death of the Gentleman

Over the past few years I have been in many conversations about this topic concerning the death of chivalry. Many women now a day have lost faith in decent men so it seems as if the have settled. They believe all men to be dogs, cheaters, scum, etc… the lists goes on. On many levels that can be true, but at the same time very untrue. Many arguments I have recently heard about relationships these days are the lack of actual face-to-face interactions, lack of going out on dates, the courtesy of men (how to treat a lady),

To start this off let’s address this issue of lack of face-to-face. To kinda simplify all the arguments I have heard I am going to call this digital interaction. There are women who believe that the digital age has taken far too much priority in relationships. There is too much text talk and not enough real talk. There’s too much skype and not enough face to face. In all honesty I believe this has nothing to do with men, this is a product of the age that we live in. We live in a time where digital technology is taking over, and our means of communication are changing. With that said let me make this clear; nothing can take the place of actually having a conversation in person where you can look into a person’s eyes, read their body language, reach out and touch them. In defense of the digital age, there used to be a time where the only time you would be able to talk to a person was by sending them a letter. That kind of communication would take forever, so I guess what I am saying is…things could be worse but we can’t let digital communication be our only means of communication. I believe there needs to be a little extra effort put into seeking live interaction and not solely digital. While i am at it, don't break up over text. Thats just inconsiderate and wrong. I heard Steve Harvey say, a break up is a situation where you are dealing with a human and their emotions. Then he asked did you meet the person through text? When you made love was it through text? Then your break up shouldn't be through text.

Not too long ago I was talking with a friend of mine and we were discussing why many men aren’t taking girls out on dates anymore, or at least not very often. The easiest answer would be to say that the economy is bad, money is tight, and all that other stuff. All of that may be true, but that is not the reason why we don’t do dates as often as we used to. We don’t do dates like we used to, because WE DON’T HAVE TO! There is a saying “For every mad black women, there is a man that made her that way”. The same thing goes for  men. “for every man that you call a Dog, there is a women who made him that way. We as human are operant learners, which mean that when we do a behavior and are rewarded for that behavior, we then continue to do that behavior. If we did something and were punished or not rewarded the behavior would cease to exist. Here is what I am getting at, hypothetically speaking: If I find out that I can get from you what I want by just buying you a couple drinks at the bar, or just telling you to come over and watch a movie in the middle of the night, and I am rewarded. Then it then becomes common sense, why waste money and go out of my way when I can get what I want practically free. If it is that easy why try harder? You see I believe that the fault in this instance lies with the females of our society. If people weren’t giving it up so easily then men would have to work harder. Then you would get your candle lit dinners, your gifts, you would get the attention of the male who is actually concerned about you. This also brings value to you, because when there is time invested there is less of a chance that he will hit it then quit it. I believe when you give it up fast you can set yourself up for failure, because he gets what he wants and moves on. But when there is time invested and a relationship built whenever he does get it he will appreciate it even more, and thus more likely to hang on to it rather than throw it to the side. It’s a matter of self worth. What is your value? You establish that.

Then there’s the issue of courtesy of men towards women, the chivalry if you will. Why don’t men open doors anymore? Why don’t they pull out chairs? Why do men talk to their women any old kind of way? This issue as I believe, is a growing issue caused by a lack of role models in young men’s lives. Father’s play a huge role in this, and when there is no father or father figure to learn from men learn from other sources. Sources like television and movies, music, and or people in the street. When a kid sees someone on tv smacking his lady around, or a kid runs into a building and lets the door slam in his mother’s face, if there is no one to correct him or tell him that this is wrong, then how does the child know that it is wrong. I guess you can apply that to any situation and I believe it will still hold true. This also can be a self value issue also. Do you let your guy talk to you that way, do you demand respect from him? Again, if he is able to get away with it at no cost to him, why change.

Peace,
Koda K.

Introduction

This is a blog that I have started to express some of my opinions about a variety of topics. I do not plan to limit or focus on any one particular area. I do however; intend to talk about the topics as intelligently as I possibly can. I am in no way shape or form an expert of anything and I am subject to error. I welcome any criticism and your own opinions. My goal is to open and start many intelligent conversations between intelligent people. With that said please leave the stupidity behind and comment with an open mind. Once again these are just my opinions. Thank you